Thursday Jul 20
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Munchkin Linebacker Smaller At Combine Than Listed College Height


When Michael Crabtree showed up at the Combine to get measured, he checked in at 2 full inches under his listed 6' 3" at Texas Tech. Scouts were somewhat stunned at such a gross mismeasurement. But the most amazing shocker of the Combine came when linebacker Beezleknees Gum Gum measured over 3 feet smaller than his listed 6' 5" at Emerald City College, completely scrambling everyone's draft boards.

While Gum Gum had been a dominant force in Divison VII college football, the division for literature and fairy tale characters, some say he may struggle at the next level. He led Emerald City in tackles, interceptions, and sacks, as they went on to triumph over the Narnia Fairies in the Division VII championship game. He is somewhat of a legend on campus, after he made a stunning interception return for a touchdown that helped upset the Hogwarts Wizards in the semi-finals, a matchup that oddsmakers expected them to lose handily.

But in standing Beezleknees next to the other Combine athletes, it seems like it might be very hard to compete for the 3 foot kid from Munchkin Land. He ran a 8.5 40-yard dash, a very good time for someone with legs half the size of a normal human. Plus, he showed some resolve when he attempted to tackle Florida runningback Percy Harvin. He wasn't able to actually bring him down, but he latched onto his right thigh and held on all the way to the endzone on a 72-yard touchdown, something a lesser munchkin would never be able to do.

Scouts aren't sure where he will go now in the draft, as he was projected to be an early 3rd rounder based on his performance on tape. But now that he has turned out to be smaller, some are saying he might not be drafted at all, as he is too easy to confuse with the football itself. Others say his ability to use magic might make up for his physical deficiencies.

Gum Gum is the son of a wealthy mother from the Lollipop Guild and a hardworking father who made fudge-covered cookies in an oak tree. If he is drafted, he would be the first munchkin to ever be taken on draft day. Right now, it appears he will be the only Division VII player taken, although the Falcons are very high on a speedy runningback centaur out of Fantasia State.
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