Monday Jan 22
  • Error loading feed data.

FIFA Prepared to Adopt Instant Reenactment

The rulings have been questionable, the criticism has been harsh, and the call for change has reached vuvuzela pitch in South Africa. Since its inception FIFA has refused to stray far from its roots; choosing to keep its advancing clock, its limited substitution rules, and its nut-hugging, European-style shorts. FIFA has even successfully thwarted off a strong American push to either change the official name of the sport to soccer or to switch to a more oblong ball. The organization has never felt the sort of pressure that it has faced during this year’s World Cup, and the calls for Instant Replay continue to come. Always the contrarian group, sources have confirmed that FIFA officials will instead announce that, beginning with the 2014 World Cup, they will add something they are calling "Instant Reenactment" to the beautiful game.

“We understand the need for review when a decisive call is in doubt,” confirmed a FIFA official who refused to be named.  “Our desire is to balance the need for limited review while still preserving the integrity of the game. We have found a way to preserve that human element by utilizing Instant Reenactment.”  According to the official, FIFA has already began the process of hiring a group of Civil War enthusiasts and teaching them basic soccer skills. After four years of training with the best coaches and professional actors, the hope is that the group will be proficient enough to reenact questionable calls.  FIFA’s plan is to allow each team one challenge per half. Once a play is challenged, the referee will call for the FIFA International Reenactment Troupe who will perform a reenactment of the controversial play between the North and the South. After viewing the reenactment from an optimum position, the official can choose to confirm or overrule his previous call.   

Due to its vast network of insiders, TSC was able to gain exclusive access to the training site of the troupe in a remote location in the mountains of Virginia. The actors were hard at worked and seemed excited about the chance to star on the world stage in front of millions of fans. “As horrible as soccer officiating is, we know both teams will be using all their challenges. That’s four improvisational skits per match that we need to be ready for.” said John Fulsom, a General in the Union’s 8th Regiment and one of the trainers of the players. “We look at this as a way to help FIFA correct its reputation for game-altering mistakes, while bringing recognition to the American Civil War. People don’t realize that soccer was big with the Union troops.  Lincoln personally loved the game, and the Union troops used to play matches during downtimes using defective cannonballs. Of course the games were low-scoring and they had to replace the goalies after every shot.”

blog comments powered by Disqus

Picture Of The Day

The Arizona Wildcats team does NOT regret the decision to play a football game wearing their PJs.