Monday Jan 22
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Redskins Land Albert Haynesworth By Giving Him His Own Custom Jersey

The Washington Redskins are doing what they do best in the offseason, giving mega contracts to the biggest free agents. This time the beneficiary of Daniel Snyder's wallet is defensive end Albert Haynesworth, who inked a 7-year $100 million dollar deal over the weekend from the Washington owner. 

When Haynesworth was asked what made him pick the Redskins over the Tenessee Titans, the team he had played his whole career for, he said the answer was simple.

"They offered me this great custom Redskins jersey!" he exclaimed, holding the jersey up so everyone in the press could see his name printed on the back. "Ever since I was a kid, I've wanted one of these custom jerseys from the NFL Shop, but my mom always said they were too much. $200 bucks to spend for an authentic one, I could never get myself to pull the trigger on that purchase, even with my millions made from football."

"But Mr. Snyder here offered to give me however many of these custom authentic jerseys I wanted, so I just couldn't pass this offer up. The $100 million dollars also helped. I've ordered all kinds of great jerseys: I've got a Haynesworth jersey coming for each team in the league, I've got a Packers jersey with Favre's name spelled sensibly, I've even got one that says Fuck You Giants, to help me get in the mood for this divisional race. These things are awesome! They are just like the jerseys that the players wear!"

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