Monday Jan 22
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Unattractive ESPN Reporter Refutes Ines Sainz Claims Of Harassment

It's been a crazy week, with the recent accusations of sexual harassment in the Jets locker room by Ines Sainz, the attractive sports reporter and former model from Mexico’s TV Azteca. Now Shelley Smith, one of ESPN’s most unattractive female reporters have come out in defense of the Jets and NFL players in general.

“I seriously question the veracity of Ms. Sainz’s claims of harassment," said Smith. In all my time as a reporter, I have never once been the recipient of any cat calls, uncomfortable stares or lewd comments while on the sidelines or in any NFL locker room."

Smith also noted that most of the players go out of their way to be very respectful and that they go out of their way to quickly dress or otherwise make an attempt to cover themselves when she enters the room.

“I cannot recall a single time when an NFL player has ever said anything sexually inappropriate to me or made any inappropriate advances towards me, even on occasions when I accidentally wear lingerie into the locker room or mistakenly text a player a photograph of one of my breasts.”

Tom Brady, the subject of frequent interview requests by Smith, confirmed her story. “I can honestly say I have never seen a player say anything inappropriate to her,” said Brady, who then made a gagging sound like he may have thrown up in his mouth. Brady went on to admit that in a turn of events, he has filed several harassment claims against Smith for among other things: asking if she can conduct interviews while sitting on Brady’s lap, telling Brady that he needs to speak clearly into her cleavage microphone, and for asking Brady when he would make “Little Tom” available for an exclusive.

According to league officials, these matters are still under investigation.

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