Written by Tim Hoffman Thursday, 12 February 2009 14:31
With the release of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue this week, it is yet again that time of year where men do a lot of voluntary shopping for women's swimwear. While sales of bikinis seldomn increase due to all the shopping, men nonetheless carefully comb through each and every page, those featuring bodypaint sometimes three or four times, to see if there are any items they can purchase for their wives and girlfriends.
"Look, I love my wife," said Jason Vega of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. "That is why I have to see what in this wonderful shopping companion I might want to buy for her. There are just so many options in here, and I love spending money on my wife's clothes, it's like a book from heaven. Oh wow, this girl is wearing a wet see-through t-shirt, I wonder if that would fit my wife... I better go think about the size comparison in the bathroom here for a little while..."
At that point Jason left the kitchen table we were sitting at for our interview and ran into the bathroom with the magazine. We waited patiently while he did whatever size comparisons needed to be done, but his wife came knocking on the door yelling at him what was taking so long.
"Leave me alone for just a few more minutes honey, I'm shopping for you!"
With that she smiled and went about her way. A few minutes later he came out of the room.
"Well, I did some in-depth size comparisons in there, and I'm just not sure if it's going to fit," he stated. "I forgot that my wife is horribly overweight and hasn't touched a treadmill in the 13 years since we've have our kids... But I am glad I went to think about it in private, I feel much more relaxed now. A lot of guys now do all of their 'shopping' on the internet, but I'm just old school."
With mother's day coming up, even Jason's son is doing a little shopping for his mother.
"Hey dad, do you think I could borrow the issue to see if there's anything I could buy for mom in there," little Timmy Vega asked.
"Sure son, but don't you let your mother see that I'm letting you borrow this, she wouldn't approve of... you shopping for her like this. And be careful with it, I don't want any of the pages sticking together. There are still many swimsuits in here I need to consider in depth."
So a final word to the women of the country who may be worried about their man's pre-occupation with looking through this month's Sports Illustrated: it's all for you. Don't worry that the males of your family keep taking it off into bathrooms and bedrooms and locking the door, there is just a lot of shopping to be done.