Sunday Oct 22
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Unathletic Art Major Leaving College Early To Enter NFL Draft

Zach Franklin, a 1st semester art major at the University of Georgia, announced today that he was forgoing the final 3.5 years of college to declare for the NFL draft, in a posting made on his myspace page. Despite never playing a down of football in his life, Franklin feels college may not be right for him after being dumped by his high school girlfriend and having his brilliant comic book illustrations misunderstood to be crap.

Mel Kiper Jr. broke down what Franklin can bring to a team, in a segment on his radio program. "This guy brings a lot to an NFL organization. He has quite a collection of comic books, ironic t-shirts, goth jewelry, and many self-written scripts for movies about ninjas and schoolgirls. It's going to be hard for opponents to prepare to face Franklin on the field, when they have to research his sad sad background of no sex and many long World Of Warcraft sessions. It's such a pathetic story, anyone would have trouble hitting this kid."

Other scouts critiqued Zach's body with some saying that he was built "like a skinny little pussy", but with the potential to become "the kind of skinny pussy you don't want to mess with, because he might be carrying a gun under his Hot Topic trenchcoat." Some have even said he has the potential to be as good as Ryan Leaf.

Franklin created a Youtube video to showcase his talents to scouts, showing him doing "football-like activities" such as catching a toilet paper roll and horse-collar tackling his 11-year-old sister. Kiper said the video was very impressive, but not because of the football-like activities, but because he also mixed together his favorite scenes from The Dark Knight at the end, and that is a really sweet movie.

When asked of the chances of Zach Franklin being drafted by an NFL team like themselves, a representative for the Detroit Lions said, "Sure, I can see it happening. He doesn't seem all that worse than people we have drafted in recent history."

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Picture Of The Day


The Arizona Wildcats team does NOT regret the decision to play a football game wearing their PJs.