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Written by Tim Hoffman Wednesday, 14 January 2009 15:43

The mayor of Washington D.C. has officially put the city naming rights for the Washington Wizards up for sale, following yet another loss that sent them to 7-30 on the season. Often stadiums and arenas will put their naming rights up for sale, but never before has a team offered to change the name of their city for a price.

"This team is an embarrassment," said Mayor Adrian Fenty. "We are getting ready to usher in a new U.S. President that will change the face of Washington, there is excitement in the air, and then we have this team here to bring us down. Other foreign leaders laugh at the fact our capital's team is so horrendous at basketball. Just yesterday at a peace conference, Russian Prime Minister Putin was mocking the Wizards for being foolish enough to sign Gilbert Arenas to a $100 million deal when he can't make it through a 7-game series without getting injured. It's shameful. Therefore, we are selling the city naming rights to the highest bidder."

Fenty went on to say that the rights could be purchased by either another town or a corporation, just so long as it no longer says Washington on it. This gives the chance for smaller cities that have always wanted a real NBA team such as Dover, Delaware or Providence, Rhode Island to finally get their name on a team. Several companies have expressed interest in the team, which could result in a name change to the T-Mobile Wizards or possibly the International House Of Pancakes Wizards.

Fenty reminded prospective buyers that the team will stay in the city, they are just looking to change the name and disassociate it from the capital. Only time will tell how this first of it's kind endeavor turns out.

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Written by Tim Hoffman Monday, 10 November 2008 22:36
Clay Bennett, owner of the new Oklahoma City Thunder franchise contacted customer service in Seattle today to find out about the return policy of the NBA team they bought in the offseason. After hearing about how fun having a basketball team was from friend and Celtics owner Wyc Grousbeck, Mr. Bennett purchased one from Seattle. But, after watching them get blown out by the Indiana Pacers to leave them at 1-6 on the season, he doesn't understand what fun his friend was talking about.

"Something is clearly defective with this team," said Bennett in a conference call Monday. "I have called customer support in Seattle, and they told me to try unplugging the team for a minute and then plugging it back in. I attempted that before the game today, but we still lost. They say I am still under warranty, so I can always mail the team back and they will send a replacement. The shipping costs on 15 giant black guys is expensive, but if that is what has to happen. The Lakers seem to be working great, hopefully I can get one of those models sent to me."

Customer support was quick to remind Bennett that the period for returns was running out. The Seattle-based basketball manufacturer has had a history of faulty products, most notably the Seattle SuperSonics. "We are a long way from the SuperSonics," said customer support representative Samir Malatai. "This is a completely different product, you can tell by the way it says Thunder on the jerseys and everything. We are confident the kinks in the team will work themselves out in the coming weeks."
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Picture Of The Day

The Arizona Wildcats team does NOT regret the decision to play a football game wearing their PJs.

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